A Beginner's Guide To Salad Page 9

  I finished chewing and swallowed before answering, holding up my index finger for emphasis. ‘First of all, dieting isn’t ridiculous.’

  ‘It is when it’s for a man.’

  Possibly true, but I ignored the comment. ‘And second of all, I am still on a diet. The Subway Diet. How fantastic is that?’

  Erin paused the unclipping of her box of sushi, twisting in her seat to look at me properly. ‘Is that a… real diet? Or did you… I’m not suggesting you made it up. Not at all. But did you perhaps… dream it up?’

  ‘No! It’s a real diet.’

  ‘According to who?’

  ‘The internet.’

  ‘Oh.’ Erin, losing interest slightly, opened the box and twisted the cap off the tiny bottle of soy sauce.

  ‘Apparently, some guy lost shit loads of weight doing it.’

  Erin lifted a California roll to her mouth but didn’t pop it inside. ‘By just eating Subway?’

  ‘Yep. How great is that? This is going to be a piece of piss.’

  Almost a week passed and I still adored my new diet. It was so refreshing to be eating things I enjoyed for a change. I wished I’d spotted the Subway Diet first and not wasted time and guilt on the others. I felt fantastic and had even started to take pleasure in the walk to and from work. With my iPod blasting Girls Aloud or early Madonna and Kylie, I’d lose myself in the music and arrive at work happy and awake and looking forward to lunch. Walking to and from work also had the added bonus of not having to fight the little old ladies for a seat on the bus and the money saved from bus fares came in handy for funding my diet.

  ‘See you in the morning.’ I turned to give Quinn a cheery wave and in doing so, collided with another body also on their way out. ‘Sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.’ The smell was familiar and my heart gave a jolly bounce when I looked up at Jared’s smiling face.

  ‘Sorry, Ruth, I didn’t see you down there. You’ve shrunk.’

  I poked out a foot to explain. Walking in heels had proved far too painful and so I had taken to wearing trainers for my walks, changing into heels once I was at the office.

  ‘That explains it.’ Jared pushed open the door, allowing me to leave first before following me into the car park.

  ‘Can I give you a lift home?’ Jared nodded towards his car and the temptation was high. It was chilly that evening, spring still reluctant to show itself fully, but I shook my head.

  ‘Thanks, but I need to pick something up on the way.’

  ‘Ok.’ Jared smiled at me again and I had the urge to sprint across the car park and throw myself into his car. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  ‘Bye.’ I gave a little wave before forcing myself forward, thinking only of the reunion and not how hot Jared was.

  THIRTEEN

  Jared

  The sight of his parents’ home held a jumble of memories and emotions for Jared. It was the home he’d grown up in with his younger sisters, his bedroom a shrine to Jennifer Aniston, Baby Spice and Neve Campbell, with dirty socks strewn about the floor. The three-bedroomed house had been crowded with the six of them, particularly Jared’s room, which was little more than a matchbox, but he remembered his childhood home being filled with love and laughter, Monopoly tournaments and thousand-piece jigsaws taking up the kitchen table. Jared couldn’t help smiling when he thought back over his childhood. He’d had dreams that had never been fulfilled and though it had hurt like hell at the time, it didn’t overshadow the joy that had filled the house.

  Jared reached for the gate, willing his brain to focus on those memories, of playing swingball in the back garden with Ally and Freya, of playing rounders and marbles in the street and the smell of baking on a Saturday afternoon as his mum jigged along to the Bee Gees in the kitchen. He wanted those memories, needed them to keep him moving towards the front door but he was tormented as the bad thoughts filtered through, clouding the good. He’d moved out of this house, lugging boxes and bags into his dad’s work van, hopeful for the future that lay ahead of him, only to return five years later with seemingly no future at all. He’d returned to his bedroom, now clear of the posters and dirty socks, kitted out in cream and sunshine yellow, now a generic guest room. He’d wept into the floral pillowcase every night, never believing the tears would end.

  But here he was now, standing on his own two feet, feeling stronger than he had in a long time. He’d moved out of his parents’ house again a year ago and had settled into his flat.

  ‘Are you coming in or not?’

  Jared looked up, his hand still resting on the iron gate. His mum was standing on the doorstep, her cupcake-print apron tied around her waist. She beckoned to Jared and her familiar smile urged him on and he managed to push through his dark thoughts as well as the gate and was enveloped in a tight hug.

  ‘Come in. Everybody’s already here.’ Linda ushered her son into the house, taking his coat and hanging it in the hallway while Jared went through to the sitting room to join the rest of the family. Bob rose from his armchair to clap his son on the back while Freya patted the empty seat next to her on the sofa.

  ‘We didn’t think you were coming,’ Ally said from the beanbag by the window.

  ‘Do you want a beer?’ Ally’s husband lifted his own bottle but Jared shook his head. Besides driving, Jared didn’t tend to drink much anymore. He’d drunk himself stupid far too much over the past few years in an attempt to block out his shitty life but he’d knocked it on the head eighteen months ago. He hadn’t been an alcoholic but he knew how easy it was to slip into the habit, how soothing it was to forget everything for a little while.

  Linda crossed the room and gave her youngest daughter a nudge. ‘Aren’t you going to say hello to your brother?’ Jimmy was sprawled across an armchair, her legs dangling over the edge, mobile in hand while she tapped away at the screen.

  ‘Hey, bruv.’

  ‘How’s school?’

  Jimmy continued to tap away at her phone. ‘It’s ok.’ She finished typing out her text message, sent it and slipped the phone into her pocket, swinging her legs around into a normal sitting position as she did so. ‘I got an A for my history project and I’m getting an award for my maths.’

  ‘Brilliant.’

  Jimmy gave a shrug of her shoulders, taking her achievements in her stride. She’d always been studious and popular at school, unlike Jared, who had found school hellish. He’d been an easy target for the bullies and they’d been relentless.

  Sunday was a family day for the Williams’s, a day when they all gathered around the table for a good old-fashioned roast. Linda relished having all of her family under one roof again and she was dreading the day when Jimmy, the tiniest bird in the nest, grew wings and fluttered away like the others. Their small house would seem ginormous when it was only herself and Bob rattling about the place.

  ‘So then.’ Linda had seen to everybody else’s needs and was now sitting at the table, pouring gravy over her lamb. ‘I was talking to Jillian Dean – do you remember Jillian? No? Anyway, I bumped into her at the market and you’ll never guess who’s returned from Australia?’ She glanced around the table, beaming at her family while they shot blank looks in return. ‘Her daughter, Marie. You remember Marie, don’t you, Jared? You went to primary school with her. Lovely girl. Very pretty.’

  Jared groaned to himself as he dropped his gaze to his roast potatoes. He vaguely remembered Marie Dean from school and knew exactly where this conversation was heading. They had the same conversation week after week.

  ‘And she’s single. Can you believe it?’

  ‘Yes, I can. If I remember rightly she had buck teeth, a great big hairy mole on her chin and a hunchback. It’s a wonder she got through border control.’

  Jimmy sniggered while Linda shot Jared ‘the look’ they’d all feared as children. ‘That isn’t true and you know it. Why do you have to make this so difficult?’

  ‘Because I don’t want to date Marie Dean.’ Jared speared a piece of pota
to and wedged it into his mouth. It was too big and he struggled to chew, let alone speak up, as Linda addressed the rest of the table.

  ‘Well then, what else do we have?’

  Ally and Freya reached into their pockets and pulled out scraps of paper. Ally read from hers first. ‘Nancy Hunter has been dumped by her boyfriend. She’s gorgeous. Long blonde hair, legs to die for and she isn’t needy or anything.’ She looked at Jared, who shook his head, still chomping on the potato. ‘How about Keira Poole? I know you said no to her last week but I can’t see why. She’s stunning. I took a photo on my phone. It doesn’t really do her justice but -’

  Jared swallowed hard, bruising his gullet. ‘Put your phone away. I don’t want to see her photo.’

  ‘I don’t have a photo, but my friend Dee’s sister’s neighbour is single and very cute,’ Freya jumped in.

  ‘Not interested.’

  ‘Clara Ross from the florist?’

  ‘Not interested.’

  ‘Judith Gold’s granddaughter?’ Linda this time. ‘She’s only twenty-two but very mature.’

  ‘Not interested.’

  ‘Kelly Smith is looking well.’ Jared gaped at his father. He expected all this matchmaking nonsense from his mother and sisters but now his father was in on the act? The females of the family were constantly trying to set him up with friends, neighbours, colleagues and nice-looking strangers behind them in the queue at Asda but Bob had always left them to it and while he had never actually claimed to be on Jared’s side, he’d always remained silent on the matter.

  ‘Don’t look at me like that. I’m not asking you to marry the girl.’ Bob cringed as he heard the words and tried to apologise to Jared.

  ‘It’s fine, Dad. But I’m not interested in Kelly Smith or Marie Dean or any of the other women.’

  Ally put her fork down and placed her hand over Jared’s. ‘But you can’t stay single forever.’

  ‘Why not?’ Gavin asked. ‘What if Jared doesn’t want to get back into dating? He’s not doing any of you lot any harm by staying single.’

  Ally gave her husband her own version of ‘the look’ and Gavin shrank in his seat. Jared was on his own.

  ‘I appreciate you looking out for me, really I do.’ And Jared meant it. He knew they were worried about him and were trying to help him in their own special and frustrating way. ‘But I don’t want to date any of these random women.’

  Linda spotted a weakness in Jared. He usually claimed he wasn’t ready to date any woman at all but, to her trained motherly ear, she detected the difference. ‘So you are ready to date again?’

  ‘No.’ He wasn’t, was he? It was too soon to be even thinking about another woman.

  ‘It’s been five years, Jared. It’s time to move on.’ Ally felt her brother’s fingers tighten on his cutlery beneath her hand. ‘Or at least think about it.’

  ‘He is thinking about it. Look at his ears.’ Linda pointed across the table, her face alight with triumph and a dash of relief. ‘They’re pink and his eye is twitching. He’s got his eye on somebody already, the sly old dog.’

  Freya sat forward in her seat, her chest landing in a pool of gravy in her eagerness. ‘Who is she?’

  Ally swivelled round in her seat. ‘Where did you meet her?’

  ‘And when do we get to meet her?’ Linda clasped her hands together, already planning the cosy little get-together. She’d bake something, a Victoria sponge or a cheesecake and they’d eat it over tea and coffee, less formal than a meal for a first meeting.

  ‘I do not have my eye on anybody.’ Jared snatched his hand away from Ally’s and threw his knife and fork onto his plate, splashing gravy onto the tablecloth. ‘I keep telling you it’s too soon. Why won’t you listen to me?’ Scraping back his chair, he left the table, grabbing a beer from the fridge and taking it out into the cool back garden where he slung himself onto the wonky bench his father had crafted years ago. He could hear his family chattering from within the kitchen but they allowed him to stew for a while and it was Gavin who was eventually pushed outside to talk to him.

  ‘They mean well, you know.’ Gavin lowered himself onto the bench, steeling himself for its collapse but it held tight.

  ‘I know, but it pisses me off. They’ve been going on at me for months now. Why can’t they wait until I’m ready? It still hurts.’

  ‘I know.’ But Gavin didn’t, not really. He’d been with Ally pretty much since they were teenagers, had lived across the road from the family since he was thirteen. He’d never suffered like Jared, had never had his heart crushed in the same way. ‘But one day you’ll be ready to get out there again, I’m sure. You’ll meet someone else.’

  ‘I think I already have.’ Jared hung his head, the words he never thought he would utter disgusting him. He’d loved Frances so much – still did – so how could he even contemplate being with another woman?

  ‘That’s fantastic.’ Gavin clapped Jared on the back, a grin plastered across his face. He wasn’t a blood relative of Jared’s, but they may as well have been brothers and Gavin, like the rest of the Williams clan, had been worried about Jared over the past five years. Gavin had never seen anybody so utterly defeated as Jared had been as he’d sloped back home, unshaven and stinking of alcohol and BO. He couldn’t take care of himself after Frances and so Linda had taken him in.

  ‘Who is she?’ Gavin was curious about the woman who had cracked through Jared’s hardened heart.

  ‘I don’t really want to go into detail.’

  ‘Of course not.’

  ‘You won’t tell them, will you?’ Jared pointed his bottle towards the closed back door where the family was clearing away the dirty dishes.

  ‘Are you kidding? They’d be on you like a pack of wolves. I’ll keep it to myself, don’t worry. And you know where I am if you need to talk, yeah?’

  Jared managed a small smile. ‘Thanks, Gavin.’

  Gavin gave a shrug. ‘Are you ready to go in? Linda’s about to serve apple crumble and I’m not allowed any until I talk you into coming back inside.’

  FOURTEEN

  Ruth

  I could hear Kelvin rummaging around in his office, the filing cabinets swishing and clunking open and shut followed by the hiss of swear words as he failed to locate the file he needed. As quietly as the tiniest mouse wearing cotton wool slippers, I crept to my desk and slipped off my shoes, sneaking them into my oversized handbag while easing my trainers onto my feet. My computer had already been shut down at five on the dot so all I needed to do was make it over the threshold without being summoned.

  ‘Ruth! Where have you put the sodding Hartman file?’

  I paused my creeping, my hand still on the corner of my desk, breath held steady in my chest. The door to Kelvin’s office was closed. If he couldn’t see or hear me, how would he know whether I was still there or not?

  ‘Ruth! Are you out there? Get in here now!’

  My eyes darted from Kelvin’s door to the open office door, the stairwell enticingly within view, and decided to make a run for it. With my trainers on, my feet barely made a sound as I scurried along the corridor, down the staircase, collapsing against the reception desk for only a moment as I wheezed a goodbye to Quinn before propelling myself out of the building. I was in the car park! I was free! Digging inside my handbag I located my iPod and my shoulders relaxed as Olly Murs serenaded me in his own cheeky chappy way.

  Normally I would leave work and head for Subway to pick up something for my tea, but not that day. The Subway Diet had lasted for a valiant week and a half but I’d officially thrown the towel in that afternoon after sinking my teeth into my millionth sandwich and realising that I was sick to fucking death of fucking Subway. It wasn’t as though the diet was even working – mainly because I’d been eating a Mega Melt for breakfast on the way to work, a 12-inch sub and a cookie for lunch and another 12-inch sub and a cookie, plus a packet of crisps (from the basket at the till so still technically ‘Subway food’) for tea. Deep down I wa
s aware that I was supposed to choose the healthier subs rather than the sandwiches laden with cheese and sauce, particularly since I’d re-read the website I’d found the diet on a couple of days earlier. I wasn’t supposed to even sniff the crisps and biscuits, never mind ingest them.

  But, despite giving up the diet, I decided to continue to walk to and from work because, shockingly, I quite enjoyed it and it was a relief to give up the stress of the bus journeys. I turned up the volume on my iPod as I left the car park and set off towards home. I didn’t think I could face another diet. I’d tried several with little to no results so what was the point? I was going home via the chippy to gorge on chips and curry sauce with a jumbo sausage and perhaps a meat pie on the side. My mouth watered at the thought and my step quickened. I’d missed chips with a passion and couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into their greasy goodness.

  But wait.

  My feet shuffled to a halt as I gazed into the window of the shop I was passing. My body turned towards a dress displayed on a bald-headed mannequin and my hands reached out to touch it, resting on the glass as my mouth gaped open. It was a strapless fuchsia dress, its satin shining and cascading down to the floor, pooling around the mannequin’s feet. Intricate beading in silver, pink and the palest blue ran across the top of the dress, meeting in the middle and continuing down the dress in a V shape to the nipped-in waist. This was it. I was in love. Or perhaps just randy with lust but either way, this exquisite creation was the dress I would wear to the reunion. I would slim down and when I did, I would fit into my dream dress and knock Zack’s arrogant little socks off.

  Inspired, I turned up the volume even louder and set off at a brisk pace, my arms pumping in my effort to squeeze as much exercise out of my walk home as possible. My breath was ragged and my calves burning but it didn’t matter as I pictured Zack’s gobsmacked face as I arrived at the school wearing That Dress. It would be an amazing feeling to see his jaw drop, his eyes widening first in surprise and then lust. I could see him falling to his knees, begging my forgiveness while I sneered down at him. I was better than Zack – and he was about to realise it.